BW Behaviour Wall

Library Training Wall Log In Sign Up
Drag here to remove To cry or otherwise signal to get needs met To call for care To bond emotionally - to learn to trust caring adults and self To decide to live, to be To accept nuture To accept touch To start to learn that there are options and that not all problems are easily solved To develop initiative To explore and experience the environment To develop sensory awareness by using all senses To get help in times of distress To signal needs; to trust others and self To continue to form secure attachments with parents and/or care-givers To establish ability to think for self To learn to think and solve problems with cause-and-effect thinking To start to follow simple safety commands To test reality, to push against other people and boundaries To express anger, sadness and other feelings To separate from parents/carers without losing their security To start to give up beliefs about being the centre of the universe To practise socially acceptable behaviour To learn to exert power to affect relationships To discover effect on others and place in group To acquire information about the world, self, body and gender role To assert an identity separate from others To separate fantasy from reality To learn extent of personal power
To develop the capacity to co-operate To disagree with others and still be wanted To test ideas and values To learn from mistakes, learn skills, and decide to be 'good enough' To identify with one's own chosen gender To test abilities against others To check out family/school rules and structures To learn the relevance of rules To learn what is one's own responsibility and that of others To experience the consequences of breaking rules To know when to flee, when to go with the flow and when to stand firm To develop internal controls To learn to listen in order to collect information and think To reason about wants and needs To practise thinking and doing
To integrate sexually into earlier developmental tasks To emerge as a separate independent person with own identity and values To achieve steps towards independence To be competent and responsible for own needs, feelings and behaviours To achieve clearer emotional separation from family
Drag bricks here


First visited: 0-6mths     Internal hunger for: Contact ('Notice me'; 'Are you there for me?')
Key characteristics:
The baby needs to establish a sense of security as they come into the big wide world. She does this by instinctively reaching out to key carers – mainly by crying – and waiting to see how they respond.
Developing secure attachments is the main job, and attended to by having carers who are attuned and able to soothe and regulate the baby on her behalf. (Check out the Library for more information on attachment.)
Affirmations that help the baby get these developmental tasks under their belt/bricks in place include:
        We are glad you’re here     We want you to be here and want to care for you                                                     What you need is important to us                You can feel all of your feelings
Clues that a child/young person might benefit from revisiting this stage:                                                  High levels of anxiety Prone to emotional outbursts/struggling to self-regulate Difficulties with transitions Struggling to trust adults/staff Highly dependent upon support Highly independent Reluctance to engage in learning



First visited between: 6mths-18mths       Internal hunger for: Stimulus (Being busy doing things).

Key characteristics: Think of a young toddler who’s starting to get out and about and exploring the world around him. He starts developing his sensory awareness, with fingers into everything - and everything going into his mouth! Note also the bricks that point to the ongoing need to develop secure attachments.
Affirmations that help get these developmental tasks under their belt/bricks in place include:
You can use all of your senses when you explore    You can be interested in everything
You can explore and experiment and we will support and protect you
You can do things as many times as you need to       We like to watch you grow and learn
Clues that a child/young person might benefit from revisiting this stage: 
Difficulties in settling; Lack of concentration      High risk-taking behaviour  
Getting into prohibited places     Avoiding doing things unless they can be done perfectly Trouble finishing tasks



Thinking Stage: First visited between: 18mths - 3yrs       Internal hunger for: Structure (Clarity as to which expectations are negotiable & non-negotiable)
Key characteristics: True toddlerdom – as the child begins to think of themselves as being separate from others, with their own needs, wants, desires and wishes. These will often be at odds with what the carers need and want – hence the meltdowns as the toddler says ‘no’.
Affirmations that help the child get these developmental tasks under their belt/bricks in place include:
It’s Ok for you to be angry, and we won’t let you hurt yourself or others
You can say ‘no’ and push the limits as much as you need to – and we will keep you and others safe as you do so
You can learn to think for yourself and others can think for you too
You can know what you need and ask for help
Clues that a child/young person might benefit from revisiting this stage:
Fear of anger in self/others         Non-compliant behaviour/ Inappropriate rebelliousness          Tantrums                      Difficulties sharing belongings



Identity and Power   First visited between: 3yrs – 6yrs     Internal hunger for: Recognition (developing self-esteem)
Key characteristics: The child is starting to get a sense of who they are (identity), and this is very much connected with gender (what does it mean to be a boy/girl?). Alongside this, she is also becoming aware of the power she has to influence others eg by crying she might find she gets a lot of care and attention.
Affirmations that help get these developmental tasks under their belt/bricks in place include:
You can explore who you are and find out about others           You can try out different ways of being powerful
You can be powerful and ask for help at the same time                   All of your feelings are OK here
 Clues that a child/young person might benefit from revisiting this stage:
Lying; Manipulation              Questions re: gender identity
Having to be in a position of power; being afraid of or reluctant to use power
Unsure of their sense of worth/value
Difficulties in distinguishing between play fighting and aggression



Skills and Structure    First visited between: 6yrs – 12yrs     Internal hunger for: Excitement

Key characteristics: This stage is characterised in part by needing to develop the skills needed to get on in the social world. There’s a lot of ‘getting on and falling out’ as the child develops a sense of their own preferences, values and what they see to be right and wrong. 
The ‘structure’ dimension is about developing an internal structure – resilience, the ability to bounce back from making mistakes.
Affirmations that help a child/ young person get these developmental tasks under their belt/bricks in place include:
You can learn the rules that help you live with others     You can learn from your mistakes  You can learn when and how to disagree    You can think before you say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’                          You can find ways of doing things that work for you  
Clues that a child/young person might benefit from revisiting this stage:
                                              Falling out with peers repeatedly      
              Being reluctant to learn new things     Rubbishing imperfect work
Trusting the thinking of the group/another person rather than one’s own intuition



First visited between: 12yrs-19yrs     Internal hunger for: Sex
Key characteristics: The teenage years, where the overall job of this stage is to integrate the earlier developmental stages as the young person moves towards adulthood. There is the notion of recycling – recycling all the previous stages, but at twice the pace, and with the added ingredient of hormones.
Thus staff and parents can find themselves struggling at times with a teenager who seems to revert back to the Being stage when everything is about them, and, especially at home, they are demanding to have their needs met for food, money etc. The teenager also revisits the Doing stage of exploration – but this time this might involve drugs, alcohol and/or sex. When it comes to recycling the Thinking stage - well, we're back to toddlerdom - but with an added edge as the 'No' becomes a bit more vociferous at times. Check out this article for a rich description of the Recycling stage (WILL NEED TO LINK TO ARTICLE THAT WILL BE IN THE LIBRARY)
Affirmations that help a teenager get these developmental tasks under their belt/bricks in place include:
 You can know who you are and learn and practice skills for independence
You can develop your own interests, relationships and causes     You can learn to use old skills in new ways
You can grow in your femaleness or maleness and still need help at times      We look forward to knowing you as an adult
When working (or living with) teenagers, we are likely to find ourselves coming across a mix of the following:
Preoccupation with sex, body, clothes, appearance, friends.
Vulnerability to peer pressure.
Overdependence on or alienation from family and others.
Irresponsibility; difficulty making and keeping commitments.
Looking to others for a definition of who they are.
Unsure of maleness, femaleness or lovableness


Small Screen Size

The Behaviour Wall is not optimised for mobile devices, please try either turning your device to landscape mode or switching to a tablet or desktop PC.